The Story of a Fat Girl
by SpunksBecky
Summary: A story about body image, about a girl with a big body and a boy with a big heart, and unconditional teenage love during the hardest times of the their lives. All Human, Canon Pairings. Rated M for difficult subjects, lemons, and all sorts of mischievous teenage ideas.
1. Chapter 1

James. My first official crush. Fifth grade was when people still respected me, treated me like a regular person. I was Bella Swan, the fifth grade girl who always wore pink, but you did _not _mess with her. My friends were mostly boys, and a few girls, though I didn't exactly like the girls. They were always talking about bras and how they couldn't wait to get their period and how _cute _the boys in the fifth grade were. Yuck! I much rather preferred to hang out with the boys, playing tackle football at lunch and laughing at their jokes. My mom always said she was convinced I was part boy, which may sound weird now, but then, I was. I really was. I didn't understand girls my age, and they didn't understand me. The boys, however, were all easy going and couldn't wait to play sports and hang out after school to play baseball in someone's backyard or jump on the trampoline. Girls wanted sleepovers and wanted to paint nails and had already outgrown sweat and dirt. But that was okay, because hanging out with the guys is how I met James.  
James had just moved from Austin, Texas to Phoenix, Arizona, directly across the street from me, with his mom and two sisters at the beginning of the fifth grade. Laurent automatically befriended the lost red headed boy who had a slight lisp and wore the same orange "Texas Longhorns" shirt, blue wranglers, and boots everyday. He quickly joined into our group, though it wasn't like we were picky. Over the course of fifth grade we got to know each other well. Well, for fifth grade that is. He often came over to my house to play soccer. He was naturally talented and, despite loving playing sports, I had two left feet, so naturally it was his job to teach me how to play.  
As time went on, I suddenly realized what the girls were talking about when they thought boys were _cute._ I understood it. Because James was very, very cute. His slightly wavy red hair, blue eyes, and freckles were the thoughts in my poor fifth grade mind. It was while I was discovering these feelings that I started to really look at myself in the mirror. At that age, I really would have preferred to have my head shaved, but my mom would not let me. So instead, I had long knotted hair that I refused to brush. I wore jeans that were loose, random t-shirts that probably came from the boys' rack at Target, and running shoes. These things, I did not have a problem with. Not at all. What was wrong with my fashion sense? And hair is just hair anyway. My problem, was my weight. I had always been a chubby kid. I was nine pounds when I was born and never really outgrew my baby fat. So in fifth grade I was slightly chubbier than most girls, and who I am kidding, most boys as well. And I did not like that one bit. When I looked in the mirror I saw a fat girl, not the girl who wore pink and liked to hang out with the boys and who always smiled. Just, fat. I wanted it to change. If I was fat, James would never like me more than a friend.  
From then on, whenever I was with the gang, I was always sucking in my gut trying to look skinnier. When I sat down, I lifted my legs up slightly so that the fat didn't spread out to make my legs look bigger. I rarely ate at lunch, or at all, when I was with the group.  
Despite everything I did to make it less obvious, one day when James and I were together alone we started a conversation and that went on and on, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, James said, "I don't know why the girls at school and you don't get along. I mean, if it's just because you're kinda big, that's messed up." My cheeks flamed, something that happened when I was embarrassed, and I felt like crying. James continued on, "No offense, or anything." That day I went home and cried. It wasn't because of what James said, I knew I was fat. I was just upset that he knew I was fat. I thought that I was doing such a good job to look thinner than I actually was. I thought that maybe he would be blinded by it all. I thought I was the stupidest person alive to think he wouldn't notice. However, it all slipped my mind when a week later my mom nonchalantly brought him up in conversation.  
"So, you're friends with James? You know, the boy who moved in across the street a couple months ago."  
"Yeah, Mom. He's over here all the time. How don't you not know we're friends?" I didn't understand what she was getting at.  
"Oh, that's right." She feigned surprise, though I thought it was sincere at the time. "Well, I was talking to his mom on the phone the other day, and you wouldn't believe what she said. Apparently a certain somebody just can't stop talking about you. She said her house is always filled with, 'Bella this! Bella that! Bella is just so different from the other girls. She's nice and doesn't care about stupid stuff! Bella beat me at soccer today! Bella, Bella, Bella.'"  
I stayed silent, secretly pleased with the new information I gathered but not wanting my mom to know anything. But of course she gave me that knowing motherly look that said she knew exactly how I felt about him.  
Nothing ever happened between the two of us. I was too scared to tell him I liked him. What would the boys think of me _then? _I even pretended not to care when he packed up and moved across the country at the end of year without saying goodbye to me. Because although that hurt, he was the only one who addressed my weight but still had nice things to say about me.

That is, until Edward Cullen entered my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Charlie Swan was basically a stranger to me. I visited him over the summers for two weeks from the time I was seven until twelve. That's a total of ten weeks I ever spent with my dad in my life if you don't count the few months when I was a baby. He never said much to me when I had visited, and usually just took me fishing where I would play with his friend's daughters.

Although I didn't spend much time with him, Charlie made damn sure I knew who he was. He was Charles M. Swan, Forks Chief of Police, and he deserved respect and when he told you to do something, you did it immediately. This is why I stopped visiting him when I was twelve. Charlie and I were not compatible. If we hadn't looked so much alike I would have questioned if he was even my father. Being honest, even though I did look like him, I still wondered if he was my father. He knew nothing about what it was like to raise a daughter, and I knew nothing about what it was like to have a strict parent, let alone a father.

My mom had always babied and spoiled me. I got away with having a messy room, not putting my dishes in the dishwasher, and rarely doing my own laundry. In return, I was always thankful for everything she did, hardly gave her attitude, and was there to comfort her every time she broke up with one of her boyfriends. On the other hand, Charlie inspected my room every day, made me wash all the dishes since he didn't have a dishwasher, and had me do his laundry, pick up the groceries, and cook. Along with all that, I was only allowed one hour of time in my bedroom during the day. Once he went to bed, I could retreat to mine as well.

To say I wasn't fond of Charlie Swan is an understatement.

However, on August thirteenth, one month before my birthday, I found myself boarding a plane with a one way ticket to Seattle, Washington where I would be picked up, in the police cruiser no less, and driven to Forks where I would live the remainder two years of my life before I turned eighteen.

"I don't understand why you want to go live with Charlie, Bella." My mom was absolutely clueless when it came to certain aspects of my life.

"Mom, I haven't seen Charlie in five years. I don't even know the guy. It'll be nice to get to know him before it's too late." The lie rolled off my tongue easily enough even though I was horrible liar.

"Okay sweetie." My mom looked at me sadly, and although I wouldn't ever admit it, there was a part of me that was going to miss her. I stared at her, getting a good last look before I left. People had never believed I was her daughter, what with me looking like Charlie. Where I had dark, curly brown hair that was always getting tangles, my mom had light brown straight hair that was never out of place. Where I had ugly, poop colored eyes, my mom had these vibrant blue eyes that she always got complimented on. "They're as deep as the ocean," one stranger said. "Like when you can't see land on the other side and you're convinced the water reaches out forever, never ending." It was a strange analogy to make considering we lived nowhere near the ocean. Another difference was our body. Where she was all legs and naturally thin, I was short, with short legs, and round, and chubby, and I could never keep the weight off. In short, I looked a lot like my father which was something I never wanted to admit to.

When I walked into the airport, I turned around to get one last look at my mom before I left, to find her already climbing into a taxi cab, not even watching me leave. That was reason enough for me to realize I was making the right choice.

"Hi," I spoke simply when I made it out of the airport and saw Charlie waiting. I wasn't sure what to say since Charlie didn't bother to speak first. He was never good with emotions, or even talking, really, but it wasn't like I had much room to say anything. I was just as bad.

Charlie nodded at me and grabbed one of my bags before leading me out to the police cruiser.

Of course.

Having the lovely honor to ride in the police cruiser was just one of the privileges of living with Charlie.

The drive to Forks from Seattle was long and boring. Neither one of use tried speaking to the other for the entire ride. It was a nice change from my mother who would have needed to know every last detail of everything, but also a little lonely.

By the time we got to Forks it was pouring and dark out. I was surprised when Charlie helped me carry my two bags. He didn't have to stop to unlock the front door. In a town that small locking your door was completely unnecessary and unheard of.

I had the same room I always had up the stairs and on the right, next to the bathroom and the furthest away from Charlie's room. It looked exactly the same as it did five years before.

"Well, Isabella, here you go." I didn't bother to correct Charlie as he set my bags down in my room. No one ever called me Isabella, but not matter how many times I tried telling Charlie that he wouldn't listen.

"I'll order some pizza for dinner tonight. Do you have any preferences?"

"No, I'm good. I'll eat anything."

"Oh, I know." If Charlie were a teenager he would've rolled his eyes. I suddenly lost my appetite feeling embarrassed about my weight.

I took a shower and told Charlie I wasn't hungry when the pizza came even though I was starving. I'd survive though. I started unpacking my bags trying to distract myself from the jitters of school the next day. A new grade in a new school in a new town in a new state with a new parent that I didn't know. I was trying hard not to feel sorry for myself but ended up crying myself to sleep anyway with all the worries I had. Would anyone want to be my friend? Would there be any other people with a weight problem? How would P.E. go? Would I be made fun of?

_Welcome home, _I thought before I passed out in my bed.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up two hours before I needed to from the nerves and anticipation of the first day of school. I took a long, hot shower that rid some of the butterflies away. Charlie was already gone by the time I got out of the shower. He was married to his work even though Forks rarely had any significant crimes. With the extra time I blow dried my hair, picked out a cuter-than-I-would-normally-wear outfit, spent some time on my makeup applying mascara, and still had an hour to kill before I needed to leave the house. I was tempted to make breakfast just for something to do, but I didn't do breakfast. I knew that breakfast was good for you and missing it was a no-no, but I couldn't bring myself to ever eat it. First off I just did not like breakfast foods, but it also just made me feel so _fat _when I ate three meals a day. I also wasn't hungry even though I didn't eat the night before. I had become accustomed to not eating regularly and withstanding long periods of time without food. I also became better lying. _Oh, I don't have a lunch because I prefer to just eat at home where I can make a nice meal. _

I still ended up leaving the house fifteen minutes earlier than needed. I pulled on my parka and rain boots to trudge through the nasty drizzle to school. After walking for about ten minutes a car honked and pulled over in front of me. It was a yellow Porsche and entirely too flashy for Forks. Most teenagers around here were even lucky to have a car at all, let alone a Porsche.

A tiny girl who looked to be about twelve hopped out of the car. She was dressed in bright colors and finished off her look with yellow rain boots. Mine were black and boring if that tells you anything about me at all. She was no more than five feet with choppy short black hair and bright green eyes. She did a little dance to me and held out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen. I live next to you." I shook her hand and gave her a strange look. No one lived on the dead end road that Charlie's house was on.

"It's nice to meet you Alice. I'm-" She cut me off before I could finish.

"Isabella Swan, from Phoenix, Arizona. You're sixteen, going on seventeen, and you just moved in with the chief." She smiled widely at me. I was a little scared. I had certainly never heard of an Alice Cullen before but she definitely knew who I was.

"Oh." Was all I could manage to say. "I actually prefer Bella though."

"Bella it is!" Alice beamed at me. "I noticed you walking; do you want a ride to school?" Although Alice scared me a little, I accepted the ride because it was better than walking in the rain the rest of the way to school.

"So, you said you live next to me?" I asked, trying to make conversation before she killed me and dumped me in the forest. You never know, serial killers are everywhere.

"Well, sort of." She admitted. "We live off a different dead end road and we have about a mile long driveway that leads into the forest. There's a trail that leads from our backyard to your backyard. It's about a half mile long." I nodded along. I had always noticed the path that led from Charlie's backyard into the forest, but I had always been too scared to go in there when I was younger.

We pulled into the school parking lot and it was still mostly empty. Hopefully that meant there wouldn't be very many people to stare at me as I walked into the office. If Alice Cullen seemed to know so much about me, I wondered how many other people knew as well. Forks was a small town after all, and news traveled fast.

"Well, thank you for the ride." I smiled gratefully at Alice. "I better just go get my schedule."

"Oh please!" Alice hopped out of the car and walked over to my side. "Of course I'm going in there with you. I can't send the poor new girl to fend for herself in this place. What if she got lost?" Alice joked since there were only a few building on campus, what with only a three hundred student population.

"Oh, thanks." I smiled at Alice, grateful that I wouldn't be the new girl walking around with a map in her face.

I walked into the office and went up to the front desk where a lady in a bright purple shirt was typing away on her computer. She looked up at me with confusion before recognition set on her features.

"Oh, you must be Isabella. I have heard all about you from the chief! Well dear, I have your schedule and a map right here for you. If you have any problems feel free to stop by at the end of the day and we can see about switching classes for you or whatever you need." The lady smiled at me and handed the papers over before turning back to her computer and typing away furiously as she was before.

"What's your first class?" Alice asked me peeking over at my paper.

"Um, Spanish 3." I answered, not exactly excited to start my day off in Spanish class.

"I have art, our classes are right next to each other. I'll show you where." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me along as the warning bell rang. She dropped me off at my class and promised to walk me to my next one.

I entered the class and found a seat in the back where no one could stare at me during class. As students entered they all seemed to notice me immediately and started whispering to each other. I blushed and looked down uncomfortable with the all the stares. This never would have happened in Phoenix. _We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto, _I thought to myself. Finally someone was brave enough to come up and talk to me.

"Hi I'm Jessica. You're Isabella right?" A girl with curled brown hair wearing way too much makeup smiled too enthusiastically at me.

"Uh, yeah. But I prefer Bella." I gave her a small smile hoping I wouldn't scare her away. I had never really been good with communicating to teenagers. Alice had been the first one that I didn't feel self-conscious with.

"I had a dog named Bella once," Jessica informed me. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be rude or if she was just dense and had nothing else to say. I gave her a little nod not sure what to say about that.

"Well, I'll see you around school, Bella." Jessica waved at me and sat down at the front of the class when the bell rang.

Even though I sat in the back of the class, the other students still found a way to turn around and stare at me all through the period. It was unnerving and made me feel totally inadequate. As promised Alice walked me to second period and promised to meet me at lunch to eat with. In Phoenix I usually sat alone outside reading a book or doing homework at lunch so I was slightly excited to actually have been invited to sit with someone.

Alice met up with me at lunch and steered me to a table in the corner of the cafeteria where we set our backpacks down.

"I can't wait for you to meet the whole gang," Alice squealed bouncing around waiting for her friends to arrive. I looked at the door just as the most attractive male I had ever seen entered the door. I swear I gasped when I first saw him. He was tall, a little on the skinny side but still muscular, with messy red-brown hair. His eyes met mine and he gave a little puzzled looked before he saw Alice and a wide smile spread across his face. Alice ran over and hugged him ferociously.

"Edward! I missed you so much!" Alice grabbed his hand and led him over to the table. I wasn't surprised Alice was dating the hottest guy ever in existence, just a little bummed out about it. _It's not like he'd be interested in you anyway, _I thought to myself. This guy obviously belonged with a cheerleader girlfriend, not the fat girl who stayed home on Friday nights eating ice cream and reading or watching the Late Show.

"Edward, this is Bella. Bella, meet Edward." Alice introduced us to each other with a wide grin.

"It's nice to meet you Bella." Edward spoke first. "I assume you just moved here?"

"Yeah, I just moved in with my dad." I relayed. He was the first person who didn't act like they already knew me. I guess he didn't get the memo that the chief's long lost daughter was returning at last like every other person seemed to know. Edward nodded in acknowledgement and the three of us sat down just as three others approached.

"Bella!" A huge guy who obviously worked out all the time came over and gave me a hug before sitting down next to me like nothing happened. I sat frozen for a second.

"I'm sorry. Do I know you?" I asked looking at the guy's face for any recognition.

"Nope!" He smiled at me.

"Oh." I just sat there awkwardly for a moment.

"Don't mind Emmett," A tall blonde who could've been a model for Victoria's Secret told me as she sat down next to the big guy. "He sometimes forgets his manners." I laughed looking at Emmett and he shrugged and winked at me before diving into his food.

"I'm Rosalie, by the way." The tall blonde told me.

"It's nice to meet you, Rosalie. I'm Bella." I smiled warmly. I was taken aback by how friendly everyone at the table was being towards me. In Phoenix I was used to being treated like dirt and would scare people away like I had the plague.

"Bella, this is Jasper." Alice introduced me to the other blonde. He had shoulder length hair and a gentle smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Bella."

"You too."

Conversation continued around the table as everyone ate and talked about summer. They all seemed like a close knitted group, but I oddly didn't feel left out. I saw Alice give Jasper a few kisses on his cheek but Edward didn't say anything and I was extremely confused but decided to drop it for the time being. I noticed Alice look over at the empty space in front of me where food should've been a few times with a frown on her face, but she didn't say anything and I was grateful. The lunch bell rang and Alice asked me what class I had.

"Biology it looks like." I said looking at my schedule.

"I have biology too. I can show you the way if you want." Edward picked up his backpack looking at me expectantly.

"That'd be great. Thanks." I really appreciated it. My first day of school seemed to be going a lot better than I thought it would have. So far no one had made fun of me for my weight, though I had a feeling it had to do with the group I ate lunch with. It was like they were the untouchables or something, they way the other students would look over at the table all during lunch.

Edward and I walked to biology in a slightly awkward silence. When we entered the class I noticed lab tables were set up so it was two people per table. I didn't know where to sit. I hated classes like these because then one person was subjected to sit with me when I knew they really didn't want to. I picked a table in the back corner like I had with all my other classes. Edward looked around the classroom briefly before finding where I was sitting and sat down next to me. My eyebrows rose in surprise. Usually I was a last resort, not someone you chose to sit with. Edward looked at my face and misjudged the look.

"I can move somewhere else if you want," he started picking up his backpack. "Sorry, I just assumed …" He stood up to leave.

"Oh! No, sorry. Please, stay. I don't mind at all. I was just surprised you wanted to sit here with me. I mean, I just thought you'd want to sit with one of your friends or something." I explained, hoping I didn't sound too stupid.

"Trust me," Edward started, "you're doing me a favor by letting me sit here." He flashed me a beautiful smile and I about fell out of my chair.

"Are you okay?" Edward grabbed my arm to help steady me.

"Yep, I'm fine." I blushed completely embarrassed at my little outburst. He was entirely too good looking for his own good.

The teacher called the class to order and went over the syllabus. When he was done he announced we had free time for the last twenty minutes of class. Edward and I sat in silence for the first couple minutes before I worked up the courage to ask him a question that had been bugging me since lunch.

"So what's the deal with you and Alice?" I looked at Edward gauging his reaction. He looked at me puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, um," I blushed as I fumbled not sure how to go about asking the question. "Well, I mean, you guys, uh … Well you guys were all hugs and then Jasper came and they were all kisses and it's not any of my business or anything so you don't need to answer but I was just wondering what was going on." I talked fast scared I was going to hit a nerve. Instead Edward laughed. Loudly, I might add. He caused the teacher and everyone else in the class to turn and stare at us. It caused a round of whispers and raised eyebrows, mostly from the girls. I blushed extremely embarrassed.

"Bella," Edward laughed out. "Alice hugged me because we haven't seen each other in two weeks. She's my sister, not my girlfriend." Edward barked out another laugh and I felt really embarrassed.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I just, I mean, it looked like …" I trailed off and decided it was best to not talk. Edward just kept smiling and shaking his head.

"If you guys are siblings, then why did she drive to school alone today?"

"I went out camping with Emmett and Jasper for the past two weeks and we didn't get back until this morning. We went directly to school from the trip." I nodded smiling, realizing how ridiculous I was.

"Sorry," I mumbled out again.

"Well since you got to ask a question, I think it's only fair I get to ask one too."

"That seems fair." I prepared myself for what he might ask. I didn't really have anything to hide so I wasn't scared.

"Why'd you decide to move to Forks?" I wasn't expecting that question. No one had asked me that yet.

"It's complicated." I sighed. I didn't feel like lying to Edward and I didn't want to tell the truth either.

"I think I can keep up." I just shook my head.

"What I mean by that," I explained, "is that it's personal." Edward smiled.

"So it's complicated _and _personal. Sounds like an even better reason to divulge." I laughed.

"It's also slightly embarrassing so I'm going to have to pass on this question. Maybe another time though."

"Hmm …" Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "Just don't think I'll forget." And with that the bell rang and he winked before leaving the classroom.

I made it to P.E. and groaned when I saw we would be doing swim for the first sport, but I was glad we at least didn't have to dress down for the first week. I sat on one of the bleachers alone waiting for the teacher to come out.

"Hey, Bella!" Jessica and a group of girls came walking over to me. "Meet Lauren, Angela, Vicky, and Leah." She nodded to each of the girls who said 'hi' to me.

"I noticed you and Edward sat together in biology," Lauren started.

"Yeah!" Jessica nodded. "What was that all about?"

"Oh, I just met him at lunch so he sat with me I guess to just be nice. I don't really know him."

"That was probably it." Lauren said. "The Cullens are all very nice, they usually do stuff for people they feel sorry for. I mean no offence or anything. It's just, well, you know." Lauren was very blatantly talking about my weight. The other girls nodded sympathetically at me before they left and went over to flirt with a group of boys in our class. I felt like crying but tried my best not to. My good day was starting to turn around.

After school I didn't bother waiting for Alice and decided to walk home. It hadn't seemed like Alice was just being nice to me because she felt bad for me, but I thought it would be best just to get home and deal with it tomorrow.

When I got home I was starving but refused to eat anything until dinner. Instead I watched some TV while I waited for Charlie to get home for work. He came home at 5:30 putting his gun and belt away.

"Whatcha cooking me for dinner?" Charlie kicked his boots off and pulled his socks off.

"Um, what do you want? I'm not very good at cooking." I admitted. Charlie grumbled on, _seventeen and doesn't know how to cook. Raw raw raw…. Doesn't cook. Pfft. Huff huff. _He shook his head.

"Well I guess it's about time you learned." He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. "Just make some pasta or something. There should be a vegetable in the fridge for you to cook too." He called from the living room turning the TV on. I hated pasta, but it was something I knew how to make.

I made the pasta and steamed broccoli and called Charlie for dinner. He grabbed his plate off the table I had set, piled his plate high with food, and walking back into the living room. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I put serving of pasta on my plate and ate about half of it, and ate some broccoli. I was still very hungry but I just shrugged it off.

I put the food away and wiped down the kitchen. Charlie always woke up early for work so luckily he usually went to bed early. He walked upstairs and I followed. He turned the light on in my room and looked around. He narrowed his eyes and inspected it.

"Those school books on your desk don't belong there." I nodded at him. "Don't make a habit out of it." And with that he walked down the hallway to his room and shut the door. I grinded my teeth and shook my head. _Those school books on your desk don't belong there, _I repeated in my head with a snotty voice. _Fuck you! _I mouthed to his bedroom door holding up both middle fingers before I closed my door and climbed into bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Charlie was already gone when I woke up the next morning and I moved my books from the desk to the bookshelf. The fact that I had to move my school books off my desk made me ridiculously angry, but Charlie wouldn't have it and I knew I needed to at least ease him into realizing I wouldn't do everything he said. I put more effort than I normally would getting ready for school. I tried to chalk it up to me wanting to make a good impression on my fellow classmates, but I knew deep down that it was really just for a _single _classmate who also happened to be the hottest male I had ever seen in my entire life. I smiled into the mirror checking myself over to make sure my clothes fit properly before I trudged down the stairs to grab my backpack. _Beep, beep. _I looked out the kitchen window to find Alice's yellow Porsche parked outside. I smiled because I was pretty positive she wasn't just being nice to me because she felt sorry for me no matter what Jessica and her little group said. Just after the honking I heard the doorbell ring and I jumped up. I grabbed my backpack and opened the door to find a very good looking Edward waiting for me.

"Hey Bella," he smiled warmly at me and I may or may not have blushed under his gaze. He looked me up and down before chuckling. "Nice outfit." My brow furrowed. I looked down to make sure I hadn't forgotten to put on pants. I looked back up at Edward and I giggled.

"How cute are we?" I laughed as I realized Edward and I were wearing matching outfits.

"Too cute!" He said in a fake valley girl voice. I laughed and closed the door. We climbed into Alice's car to find her shaking her head at us.

"I can't believe you guys are matching." Alice said shaking her head. I smiled but was growing self-conscious at the idea of us matching. Of course he looked like a sex god in his jeans and blue sweater, whereas I just looked like an oversized blueberry.

The car ride to school was filled with Alice and Edward bantering over which radio station we would listen to. In the end, it was no radio station. I had always wished I had a sibling when I was growing up. And despite the bickering, they kind of made me want a sibling even more.

Today went better than yesterday. There was less staring, however, people had more courage to come up and talk to me. A boy with gel-spiked blond hair and a lazy smile was one of them. He introduced himself as Michael but said all the pretty girls called him Mike. Then he winked at me. I may have thrown up in my mouth a bit. I gave him a tight lipped smile, told him it was nice to meet him and directed my attention back to the teacher. I may have been rude, but in my defense he was a little creepy.

I was more than relieved when lunch finally arrived and was greeted at my class by Alice. She smiled and looped her arm through mine before skipping, yes, _skipping, _to the cafeteria with an embarrassed me in tow. The other four were already there. I sat down at the table next to Edward while Alice went to buy her lunch. He smiled and nodded at me before turning his attention back to the others. When Alice came back she started asking me about my day.

"Did you meet anyone new?" She took a bite into her apple and my stomach slightly rumbled. The apple did look good, but I needed to remember self-restrain.

"Yeah," I hesitantly started.

"Yay!" Alice practically squealed. "Boy or girl?" She raised her eyebrows in question.

"Boy." I mumbled and sort of frowned.

"Ooh! Now we're getting somewhere. Who was it?" She quickly scanned around the room. "Tyler? Eric?"

"I don't even know who those people are, Alice." I laughed lightly. "No, it was _Michael." _I sneered his name.

"Oh you poor thing." Rosalie spoke from across the table. I laughed.

"You're telling me." I muttered.

"Did he pull the whole, 'but you can call me Mike' thing?" Alice imitated his voice nearly perfectly. I grimaced.

"He's vile." Edward popped into the conversation.

"And creepy." Emmett added. I nodded vigorously in agreement with Emmett.

"This isn't lunch appropriate, but I swear I threw up in mouth a little." I informed the table. Alice wrinkled her nose but nodded with me in agreement.

"You should have thrown up on him." Emmett smiled wickedly and started chuckling to himself. I turned to Edward but talked loud enough so Emmett could hear me.

"Remind me to never get on his bad side." I nodded towards Emmett. Jasper sighed.

"You have no idea." Jasper muttered. "I've been on the receiving end of his pranks far too many times." Alice gave him a kiss and he smiled like her kiss could solve any trouble in the world. Looking at the two of them being so very much in love I couldn't help but silently laugh to myself about how I thought she was dating Edward.

When the bell rang signaling the end of lunch Edward stood up and waited for me to grab my backpack.

"So Bella," Alice started. "I'll be waiting for you in the parking lot after school." She gave me a look that said, _I will fucking hunt you down if you bail on me again. _

"Alright." I nodded at Alice and walked to biology with Edward. We sat down at the same table as the day before and I fumbled getting my notebook and pen out of my backpack. Being with Edward, away from Alice, made me nervous. I had never been especially flirtatious. That's actually a major understatement. I had never even had a boyfriend. Or even a first kiss. And there I was sitting next to the most gorgeous man on earth who I wanted to do nothing less than take him home and lock him in my bedroom. Too far? Eh, I am a bit of a creeper.

The final bell rang and Mr. Banner informed us right off that these seats were ours for the rest of year. I internally did a happy dance though I tried to appear indifferent on the outside. I peeked at Edward and saw him chancing a glance at me as well. He chuckled and I blushed.

"Well partner," He turned to look at me full on. "It looks like there's no avoiding me."

"I guess not." Mr. Banner started his lecture and I sat bored doodling on my notebook.

"No notes?" Edward whispered at me. I shook my head no and pulled out another notebook from my backpack and flipped it open. It was my notes from my biology class from my old school. He smirked and nodded.

"This was the only class they could fit me in." I explained to him. He nodded.

"Lucky me." I blushed and tried covering up my face with my hair.

Mr. Banner finished class early again and I was excited at the prospect of having a long conversation with Edward again. I racked my brain for topics to come up with and drew a blank even though I was desperate to talk to him.

"Did you know dolphins are the only other animal besides humans who have sex for other reasons than reproducing?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's true. Dolphins are extremely promiscuous. They have sex with different dolphins, in the same day sometimes. They're also known for having sex with the same sex occasionally." Edward looked at me for a moment with a straight face before his lips started turning up.

"You're strange, Bella Swan," was his only response.

I shrugged. "I find it fascinating."

"Which part, the sex aspect or the dolphins in general?" I blushed and slightly laughed.

"The dolphins in general. They've been my favorite animal since … Forever."

"Darn," Edward replied. "Here I thought I finally found a girl who understood me. I mean, most people frown about sleeping with multiple people in the same day …" I nudged his shoulder and laughed.

"Keep dreaming, Edward." I shook my head.

"You know," he started, "most people break the ice with something less … sexual." He told me.

"Hey Edward?"

"What?"

"Want an Australian kiss?" I tried to hold back my laughter. He looked reproachful.

"What's that?" He asked with caution.

"Well, it's kinda like a French kiss," I explained, "but down under." I winked at him and gauged his reaction. His mouth dropped open before he laughed.

"You wanted less sexual than sex itself, so that's what you got." I shrugged and put my notebooks back in my bag as the bell rang.

"You have nerve, Bella Swan." Edward told me. "This is not over!" He yelled as I walked out of the class. I smiled all the way to the gym. I had never been so bold before with anyone ever, but it was like I had known Edward for my entire life, not for less than two measly days.

P.E. was the same as the day before. Coach Clapp droned on about the different rules of different games while I sat alone and listened to Jessica Stanley pine over Edward. Jessica and her groupie walked up to me after class.

"So you and Edward are partners in biology," Jessica started. I internally rolled my eyes. "Do you think you could talk to him about me sometime?"

"Yeah, no problem." I all too enthusiastically smiled back her.

"Thanks Bella! I can already tell we're going to be friends."

I shook my head as I walked out to the parking lot to wait for Alice and Edward at the Porsche. Alice wasn't there yet, but her smoking hot brother was.

"I've been thinking of a good line all period." Edward informed me. I shook my head.

"What'd you come up with?"

"Nothing. So I looked some up on my phone."

"Clever one you are, Cullen. Show me what you've got."

"Are you sure? Some of them are pretty bad. I don't want to offend you." I laughed and waved for him to continue.

"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties." I raised an eyebrow wondering where he was going with it. "Oh, you are? My watch must be an hour fast then."

"Is that all you got, Cullen? C'mon. I can do better than that."

"Let's hear yours then, _Swan._" He emphasized my last night, catching onto my nickname for him.

"Wanna play fireman on your bed? We can stop, drop, and roll." Edward snorted.

"What's going on here?" Alice was frozen in mid step behind me, slightly amused and slightly confused.

"He started it." I pointed to Edward before getting in the car. Edward and Alice both just shook their heads before following me. As we left the parking lot I noticed Jessica staring at the car. Edward muttered something along the lines of, "Dear God".

"Oh, Jessica requested that I talk about her to you, Edward." I informed him. "So that was me talking about her to you."

"Thanks," he replied dryly. "but I really don't want to hear about Jessica." He visibly shuddered. "She cannot take a clue. And she gained like ten pounds over the summer so she looks pregnant. I actually wouldn't be surprised if she was. Pregnant, that is." It felt like I'd been punched in the stomach when he mentioned her weight. Jessica wasn't even fat. A silent tear slipped down my face as I was once again reminded of how people really thought of me. I knew Edward didn't realize what he had said hurt my feelings, but that didn't change the fact that he did. I was just the fat girl. Not much of anything else. That's what people saw me as at least. When Alice and Edward dropped me off at home I got out of the car quickly and thanked them before rushing inside so they wouldn't see my tear streaked face.

I didn't feel like making Charlie dinner so I ordered a pizza for when he got home. He smiled appreciatively at the smell of pizza when he walked in the door and had me eat some with him in the living room. I ate two slices and immediately regretted it. I couldn't afford to gain ten pounds like Jessica could. I excused myself from the living room and went upstairs to the bathroom, surprised that Charlie didn't want me to clean up. I got down on my knees and shoved a finger down my throat until my dinner wound up in the toilet. I flushed my problems down the toilet and brushed my teeth. I stripped down for a shower and stared at my body for a long, hard time before convulsing, without the need of my finger this time. I dry heaved as I sobbed on the bathroom floor. When I heard Charlie come up the stairs some time later I picked myself up and took a shower, wishing I could scrub away the stretch marks and ugliness from my body.

I went to bed that night ashamed of myself, but I knew it had to be done. If I wanted Edward Cullen, or anyone, to look at me seriously I had to stop being ugly and fat. And with that I cried myself to sleep yet another night.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**Hi everyone! Thank you so, so much for reading my story! Also thank you to everyone who was favorited, followed, and reviewed this story. I really appreciate your support. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible. :)**

**-B. **

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Some people think that being upset about being fat is overdramatic. Some people think that being fat is not a big deal. Some people don't even see the fat part when they look on. They just see them for who they are. Some people say that it doesn't matter what's on the outside, it's about the inside. Well, those people are some of the nicest people I know. However, they are also ignorant as fuck. Because despite what nice, skinny people have to say, the fact is that being fat _is _a big deal when you're the fat person. Until you've been overweight, don't judge. Until you've been the one made fun of over and over and over about your weight by your peers, don't judge. Until you've had to go clothes shopping where it take _hours _to find something that not only you like, but also fits you, don't judge. Because that was my life and that was why I made the choices I did.

The rest of the school week went by as the first two days did. People still stared and made obviously offensive comments about my weight. I sat with Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper at lunch, Jessica still pried to get information about Edward from me since I was his lab partner, and it was only the first week of school. I could already see a pattern occurring. The only thing that was different is that I didn't talk to Edward. I was polite when he would try to talk to me in biology, but I was never the one to start the conversation, and I never volunteered any more pick-up lines. It wasn't his fault that I took his comment about Jessica personally. It also wasn't his fault that I was fat to begin with. I knew I was being over emotional, too, but that didn't make my feelings suddenly be unhurt.

Alice and Edward picked me up for school on Friday like the other days, but this time Edward was driving a silver Volvo. I definitely hadn't pictured Edward as a Volvo driver.

"Nice car," I nodded to Edward.

"Thanks." He looked at me like he wasn't sure whether or not I was kidding.

"So Bella," Alice began, "how do you feel about slumber parties?" I groaned.

"They are horrible, evil things that shouldn't exist." I informed her.

"Well they do exist and you're coming to one today!" She turned around to look at me in the backseat with a hopeful smile on her face. I raised an eyebrow.

"What goes on at said slumber party?" I was slightly scared to hear the answer.

"Whatever you want to do," She said. "Just think of past slumber parties you've been to."

"Uh, I've never been to a slumber before." I waited for Alice's reaction.

"Har-har, Bella. Whoever told you you'd be a good comedian lied." She rolled her eyes at me before turning back around.

"Alice, I'm serious. I've never been to a slumber party before. I swear." She shot me an incredulous look.

"Isabella," she pulled out the big guns. "Do you really expect me to believe that your friends in Phoenix never invited you to a slumber party?"

"Um, yes?" It came out more like a question. "Alice, you're my first friend that's a girl. Well, not really, but you're my closest girl friend I've ever had."

"How is that possible? I've only known you a week!"

"Well I never really hung out with girls. I was a bit of a tomboy when I was a kid and I didn't really have many friends in high school, so …" Alice just shook her head.

"You're a strange one," She told me. I laughed.

"That's funny because you aren't the first Cullen to tell me that." Edward grinned at me from the mirror. Alice huffed in annoyance muttering something about slumber parties. I just shrugged and enjoyed the silence of the rest of the car ride. However, when we got to school I was glad for Alice's invitation for a slumber party when Mike came up to me in one of my classes.

"Hey Bella!" He looked at me like I was something to eat and it freaked me the fuck out.

"Hey," I tried to make it look like I was busy by rummaging through my backpack but Mike was persistent.

"So uh, I was wondering, do you maybe, um," he started blushing. I looked on at horror as Mike tried to talking to me. I was not going to let Mike Newton be the first guy to ask me out. "Do you wanna go out some time? Like uh, this weekend?"

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" I asked Mike not trying to be mean, but no one ever, _ever _had shown an interest in dating me.

"Uh, no. I just, um, like you so I was just, yeah …" He trailed off awkwardly.

"I'm sorry Mike, but I already have plans this weekend." I tried to look apologetic but on the inside I was doing a victory dance at how Alice's timing for a sleepover was impeccable.

"Oh. Okay." He nodded before looking hopeful again. "Maybe next weekend?"

"Maybe, but I'll have to ask my dad." I hoped brining Charlie into the equation would frighten Mike a little. I knew Charlie most likely wouldn't care if I was going on a date, not that I would tell him if I ever did. Mike nodded and went back to his desk. I let out a big sigh of relief.

At lunch I walked right up to Alice and hugged her like there was no tomorrow.

"You are the best friend in the entire world." I informed her. Everyone at our table looked at me strangely, obviously not used to me showing any signs of affection.

"I know," Alice looked smug. "But what exactly did I do?"

"You, my friend, got me out of a date with Mike Newton." Rosalie immediately started cackling.

"Oh Bella Swan, what did you do in your previous life that was so bad God would want to unleash the horrors of Mike on you?" I just shook my head.

"I don't know, but what I _do _know is that we're having a slumber party tonight." I looked at Alice for confirmation and she clapped her hands together and wore a shit eating grin for the rest of lunch.

"I better call Charlie and make sure it's okay with him though."

"I'm sure the Chief won't mind." I wasn't too sure. I pulled out my barely used cell phone and dialed the station's number and nervously awaited an answer.

"Chief Swan speaking," Charlie answered phone.

"Hey Dad, it's me."

"Bella?" _No, your other daughter, _I thought to myself. "Is everything okay? Are you in trouble? Did something happen?"

"Dad, calm down. I'm just calling to ask permission to spend the night at Alice's." I rolled my eyes at his reaction to my phone call.

"Oh." I heard him sit back down in a chair. "Yeah, that's fine by me if it's okay with her parents." I put my hand over the phone and asked Alice if it was okay with her parents. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Of course it's okay with them." She looked at me like I was crazy for even asking.

"Yeah, it's okay with them." I told Charlie.

"Okay, then you have fun kiddo." I was surprised I was off the hook so easily. I for sure thought I would at least have to make sure the house was clean and that then laundry was done, but I wasn't going to complain.

"Okay, see you sometime tomorrow."

"Alright, by Bells." I shuddered at his nickname as I hung up. Bells was an awful nickname for a sixteen –almost seventeen- year old girl.

"After school can you drop me off at my house so I can pack an overnight bag?" I asked Alice as she bit into her lunch.

"Alice can drop us both off and after you pack I can walk you to our house through the trail in the forest." Edward answered for her. "I mean, if you want."

"Yeah, okay." I agreed. "I've never gone through there. I was always too chicken as a kid." I admitted. Edward chuckled.

After lunched Edward walked me to biology and when we sat down out our lab table he gave me a peculiar look. The intensity of his look was intimidating but I couldn't look away. His green eyes were bright, but so hard to read.

"Bella," he finally spoke.

"Yes?" My voice came out a little breathily and I automatically blushed embarrassed with myself. Either Edward didn't notice or he chose to ignore it.

"Why have you been avoiding me the last two days?"

Because you're super hot. And you apparently don't like girls with weight problems. Therefore you won't ever like me. And as I said before, you're super hot. I wouldn't mind having your children. Just kidding. Not.

"I haven't-" I started to lie but Edward gave me a "no bullshit" look.

"I may have only known you a couple days, but I'd like to think I'm not entirely incompetent when it comes to the opposite sex." He gave a little smirk. Luckily I was able to stay in my seat this time. "Now, why have you been avoiding me?" I sighed and figured I may as well go with the truth.

"Well, in the car on Tuesday, when I told you about Jessica, you talked about her gaining weight and I… Well I guess I just kind of took it personally." Edward looked in pain.

"Bella, I am _so _sorry. I was just saying that because she's just someone I really can't stand to be around. She can't take a fucking clue." He looked at me with wide innocent eyes. "I promise I never meant for that to offend you. Sometimes I just don't think when I talk. I would never, ever say that about you. I really like you, Bella." I looked at him frozen for a second before I realized I was staring.

"It's okay Edward. I just took it personally."

"Friends?"

"Friends." I smiled at the thought. Me, friends with the sexiest man alive.

I spent the rest of biology off in my own little dream land thinking about Edward and me being friends. Okay, maybe I thought about us being a little more than friends. Don't judge. A girl can dream. When the bell rang ending class Edward waited for me as I put away my notebook.

"I'll see you after school Bella." Edward grabbed my hand and gave it a little squeeze, shot me a panty-dropping smile, and strode out of the room like an underwear model on the runway.

_Well damn, _I thought as I made my way to P.E. I was one lucky lady even if it was just a hand squeeze. I snorted to myself in my head. _You know he's a sexy mofo when a hand squeeze nearly sends you to and early death. _

Though, as soon as I entered the gym, my good mood was slightly altered. For one, Jessica Stanley was in the class and that always sent my good mood away for the time I was in her presence along with a couple IQ points. Second, today was the last day of class we didn't have to dress down for and on Monday we would be starting the swim unit. And third, not only was Jessica in class, but boy was she pissed at me. She and her little groupie stomped right up to me. The anger in Jessica's face was unmistakable.

"Bella, how could you?" She looked like someone had just run over her puppy.

"I'm sorry, what exactly did I do?" I tried to think back to everything that happened today. Surly she wasn't made at Edward squeezing my hand.

"You're going on a date with Mike Newton?" She whispered yelled, making sure Mike wasn't around to hear her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did you hear _that _from? That is entirely false." Fuck my life. If the rumor about Mike and me escalated, I was going to be livid.

"She heard it from me." Lauren, one of the members of Jessica's groupie, spoke up. "I heard him ask you in history this morning." She looked at me accusingly.

"Well then you certainly must've heard me turn him down, as well, wouldn't have you?" I accused right back at her. "Besides, I thought you were interested in Edward?" I looked back at Jessica. This girl had some serious problems. I didn't even know that she liked Mike. Not that I was interested, because I definitely wasn't.

"Wait, you turned him down?" Jessica looked at me suspiciously.

"I swear I turned him down. I am not interested in him." I told her truthfully. "I don't even know why he's interested in _me._" Also something that was not a lie. One of the girls snorted.

"Yeah, that's what I'm trying to figure out too." Vicky spoke up. "I mean, _really?_" I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

"Oh, and Jessica?" I spoke loudly over my shoulder as I walked away so more people could hear. "Edward Cullen wants you to stop stalking him." Snickers erupted from the class as I triumphantly walked to my seat on the blenchers. Two could play this game, bitch. Jessica huffed and stomped away with the rest of the girls shooting me dirty looks. I knew I was going to pay for that someway, but there was something people didn't seem to realize. I may not have been the little girl in pink anymore who played sports after school, but one thing was for certain, you did not mess with Bella Swan.

Period.

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